Oh, Rose, Rose! Thank you so much! I was thinking maybe I could make my rehab productive and at least share my CBT written exercises and recommend a few psychology/mental health/addiction self-help tomes I use.

I’m a bit terrified my 81 year old mother will read it, as she used to be my avid reader on Medium, but since her tablet broke, she can’t really read on her mobile. I also really wouldn’t want my sister to know I’ve relapsed, because I relapsed fom a panic/stress/exhaustion combination; they are a bit self flagellating by nature, thrmselves…I wouldn’t like them to feel directly responsible for this, and if they did, they’d feel like it’s a problem they need to fix, when it’s clearly not. Anyway, of they do, they do.

I plan on writing a memoir, so I guess this is me testing the waters and finding/honing my confessional voice.

I have to go sleep now, but soon I’ll send you some links to other confessional addiction mental health pieces I’ve published here on Medium, also for you to get to know me better, and also, if you don’t mind, if you like the voice itself I write in, or does it perhaps seem a bit woe-is-me, at times.

I also changed the photo to a less direct, more artsy style…I looked at it coldly and thought it was a bit harsh. What’s your opinion, my dear friend? Should I put it back to the unedited original color photo? Just raw?

Dunno, honestly. So insecure about this post, I feel really vulnerable, but at the same time so liberated by having been honest. It was eating me up as a secret from all and sundry.

Again, my love, thank you so much!

When I have a clearer head, I’d like to sit down and maybe discuss a kind of ADHD writing collab…say half of the same essay each. Like, a set topic and we both write publish the dame essay under each respective name, but…is that even allowed on Medium?

Love, empathy, clarity & other such virtues,

Yours, utterly,

Pedro B. Gorman