This is such a sad fact for so many of us as we grow old. :(

I watched my father slowly waste away over the course of five years due to Parkinson’s and Diabetes, and towards the end, his memory and speech were practically gone. I used to communicate with him through music, which I discovered is the great universal anchor for memory. I would sit next to his bed with my guitar and play & sing him covers of all his favorite songs, and show him some of my own.

My mother, now at 80, has been diagnosed with dementia, and though she is still in it’s early stages, I am slightly dreading what is yet to come.

All we can do, my dear, as children, is the same they did for us in our infancy: old age is in fact a second childhood with equal levels of dependence and vulnerability, and it is up to us to take joy where we can with our parents. Allow her whatever moments of guided, assisted independence you can. Enjoy every small moment with your Grandma, Wally. My heart is with you.

If you can, ask your graddad what all of her favorite songs are, and play them to her; if someone in your family is a musician, treat her to acoustic, mini-gigs in the comfort of her home. You’ll find it works wonders. My dad would often launch into reminiscences of his childhood and teenage years, and remember the words to entire songs even when he couldn’t remember much else, cued by the healing wonderment of music.

Love & Strength,

P.